Agnoistrologythe method by which one may make predictions, give advice, and reveal the dynamics of human relationships without actually knowing anything (very similar to astrology but devoid of any pretense).

Most astrologers believe our lives are impacted by celestial bodies to the extent that their influences have been measured and recorded by scribes since the first person looked into the skies with curiosity and awe. Oddly enough, horoscopes haven’t gotten any better than a skilled cold reading despite centuries in which to refine the techniques. Seers, oracles, prophets, diviners, soothsayers, clairvoyants, and prognosticators haven’t been able to accurately predict events with any statistical significance regardless of the method employed and yet every adumbration is uttered with such confidence that many feel, if one only understood the symbolic and ethereal meaning hidden within, great truths would be revealed. Consequently, newspapers and magazines, websites and physical shops peddle their wares, providing patrons with vaguely worded guidance and relieving them of their disposable income.

One day I realized something, however. What should be considered the single most momentous force in any reading is almost always either given a minimal part to play or ignored completely. Even if one could prove that indistinct patterns formed by flaming balls of gas light years away somehow influence personalities and anthropocentric occurrences, one factor is consistently neglected – you.

This website is a consequence of that epiphanous idea. The fortunes and advice contained herein are presented in random order, leaving it up to you to choose which is most pertinent. If one doesn’t seem to apply, simply move on to the next; no mental gymnastics are required.